That is our goal, our hope, our promise. How well does America meet that goal? Do the liberties and rights assumed by many apply to all? The combination of the world-wide pandemic and another police killing of an unarmed black man have created an almost explosive atmosphere in the U.S. Many white people are confused, frightened, offended (How dare you, I’m not racist; How dare you, I have no special privilege), and angry. As I began looking into this in earnest a few months ago, I realized I have often benefited purely because I am white. I’ve known people who said what I found to be gross and disgusting things — but I never recognized the hidden, taken for granted advantages I have that everyone doesn’t.
I am white — I’ve never been stopped walking through Roland Park enjoying the architecture of those homes. I am white — I’ve never had the police called on me for walking through Guilford, admiring the lush gardens and landscapes of the private and public spaces there. I am white — I’ve never been ignored or looked at sideways in the Homeland butcher shop, florist, or bakery. (These are tony areas of the city I know best. Substitute your own city’s tony neighborhood names for the same effect.) I’m white — I had no trouble setting up my business account over 20yrs ago at a bank where I did not have my personal accounts. I had no trouble seeing any house I wanted to see, in any area of 4 different counties, when we were home shopping in 2010. I had no trouble (other than was to be expected) with various contractors to make improvements to the property before we could actually move in.
At least two decades ago I had gone to lunch at one of my regular spots. I’d noticed it had been declining in service and food offerings (it was a salad buffet, if you want to call it ‘cuisine’, feel free) over my last several visits. I asked to speak to the manager. LOL. That was my introduction to the ‘Karen’ stereotype. I’d never heard of this before. The manager appeared asking if I was the one who’d asked for him. Yes, I wondered why they had stopped serving the broiled white-fish in favor of the unappetizing deep fried fish. I wondered why the server turn-over had been near 100%, since I didn’t recognize any of them gathered around (my favorite server was missing this day; all the ones I saw were maybe high school age, at most). The young man said something to the effect of “Karen, I’m sorry the food doesn’t meet your expectations. I suppose you want more of it, for free of course. Just who do you think you are?” He and gathered subordinates thought that was hilarious. I was just confused. I asked if he was going for an MBA — yes, he was. I told him I am a regular visitor, a paying customer, the one who keeps him in his job; that he was setting a bad example of business behavior for the others to follow, and why would I want more of something I just said I didn’t like? With that kind of service, it was no longer a question of why it had declined so badly. I suggested they all start looking for new jobs because they’re not gaining good customer service skills, and at the rate they were going, the store would be closed within 6 months. It turned out to be true, but that was my first experience with being stereotyped. First in my adult life I’d ever noticed anyway.
Non-white people, or white people who don’t present as basic middle-class are treated this way and worse on a regular basis. It is embedded in our laws, our habits, our culture. It is often justified as being “the way things are” or even worse the way “god said” things should be. Why is that? Let’s consider a bit of history.
This turned into a much larger project than I expected when I began a couple months ago. I kept finding more and more descriptions of events and circumstances I was only vaguely (or not at all) aware of. These observations will be in separate posts (Liberty).
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